“He Held His (Wife’s) Hand in Public”

Today is the 1 year Anniversary of the General Assembly debate on the Aberdeen Case, where the Rev Scott Rennie was permitted to take up the Call to the Congregation of Queen’s Cross, Aberdeen. In honour of this, I repost (the most popular entry) my experience from that night.

I think this is one of the only pages in the blogosphere that hasn’t mentioned the internal conflict currently raging in post-election Iran! I know many Iranians; it is a beautiful and dignified country, where her people are much more open than the ruling class and western media would allow you to think. Justice is universal – there is a right and a wrong. Election tampering is wrong and hopefully, if this has taken place – as it seems likely – this will be sorted so that the voice of the people are heard.

Saturday saw the State strengthen its response to the demonstrators, using live rounds, tear gas and riot police to break up crowds. Both sides seem determined not to give in, so pressure continues to build.

I was reading Daniel Finkelstein’s Opinion piece in Wednesdays ‘The Times’ – read the article in full here – and was struck by his description of Mr Mousavi, the “runner up” in the recent elections and the new darling of the reformists/moderates in Iran. Discussing the general desire for liberty and democracy throughout the world he goes on to say:

“The clue lies in a single, almost heartbreaking, detail, tucked inside the reports of Iran’s presidential election. Mir Hossein Mousavi – the dry, bureaucratic insider who became the unlikely hero of the reformist protestors – is not a charismatic man. But he did one truly eloquent thing. He held hands with his wife in public. He held his wife’s hand. In public. It makes you weep for a society in which this seems daring. But it turns out that for millions of people it was the hopeful sign they had been awaiting. It was a tiny crack in the dam. It was light in the darkness, a small battery torch of light, but light all the same.”

Iran follows a form of Islam where open displays of affection even between husband and wife is not allowed. Indeed, part of the campaign against him during the election was because his wife was involved in campaigning – first time ever a presidential candidate’s wife has campaigned.

Now I don’t want to make any comparison between life in the UK and Iran. In the UK we have freedom which is not experienced by most in Iran. The current demonstrations and the Government crack down is a dangerous situation that has already cost some lives and many beaten and imprisoned.

However, I think Finkelstein put it beautifully – “He held hands with his wife in public. He held his wife’s hand. In public. It makes you weep for a society in which this seems daring.” The only time I have held my partner’s hand in public was on a Pride march, where there was “safety” in numbers. We do not sit in the cinema holding hands, like the couples around us. Walking down the street, we do not hold hands as much as I want – and need – to. No holding hands over the table sitting in a restaurant for us. It makes you weep for a society in which this seems daring. Indeed it does.

Let me tell you about another time I held my partner’s hand in public. Sitting in the public gallery of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland on the Saturday evening of the Aberdeen case. Of course the circumstances are well known, and read my blog of it here. The Gallery was full. I was struck that there were 4 gay ministers sitting in close proximity. We hadn’t planned it, or organised it. But all 4 of us were sitting there with our partners, to see where the Church of Scotland stood on people like us in ministry.

At one point, my partner reached out and took my hand, and kept hold of it for the next 4 hours of the debate, that ended with the Presbytery’s decision being upheld and Assembly agreeing that Scott should be inducted to a new congregation that had called him. Now, it wasn’t obvious. It wasn’t showy. The people on either side of us and those in front could see if they looked, but it would be unlikely anyone else did. It wasn’t a political statement. It was a gesture of love and support from my partner during what was a traumatic time for all LGBT people in the Church of Scotland.

Holding hands. Its a simple thing with profound significance. However it is for me – and millions of other LGBT folk – still a “daring” thing. I hope that it will become less daring for a man to hold his wife’s hand in public in Iran. I pray it will become less daring – no – become acceptable, common-place for all LGBT people to hold their partner’s hand in public here (and everywhere else including Iran!!).

He held my hand in public.

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